I promised myself I wouldn't do it again
Hiya,
It's 6am on a freezing Melbourne Sunday morning and I'm at my laptop, scribbling in my daily journal, the anxiety in my chest finally starting to unclench and dissipate.
Here's what's going on.
On Tuesday I’m working in a room with an awesome group of women at Claude coding camp, a full day of learning and implementing skills and tools for my business. This date has been in my diary for over two months,and I time blocked so many prep session times over that time period.
Have I started the prep? No. Not one hour of it.
This isn't the first time this exact shape has shown up, and if my track record means anything, it won't be the last.
A few years back I put off transferring my driver's licence from Western Australia to Victoria for months, until the literal last legal day I was allowed to drive on the old one.
The only appointment left anywhere was in Ballarat, ninety minutes away. So I drove out there in my racing green Mini Cooper and burned five hours on something that should have taken one.
Did I beat myself up about it? Yes.
Did I promise myself I'd never leave anything until the deadline again? Also, yes.
Did I keep that promise? No.
Which is exactly why my Dexie bottle is running low right now and the review appointment that keeps my Schedule 8 permit valid is still sitting there, unbooked.
I want you to know there is a reason for this behaviour, and it’s not that you are undisciplined – you are underdopamined (my word!).
ADHD brains run on what researchers call an interest-based nervous system, meaning motivation switches on for interest, novelty, challenge, or urgency, not for how important something actually is.
A task can matter enormously and still generate zero drive, right up until urgency finally arrives and does the job importance couldn't.
This is also exactly why lived experience changes how coaching actually works. I'm not applying something I read about once. I've done the five-hour round trip to Ballarat.I know what the third "I won't do this again" sounds like, because I've said it more than three times.
That's actually the whole idea behind Sparkle Club, coaching built by someone who's lived this, not studied it from a distance and understands you.
Here’s what I actually do with it now so that I don’t feel like an awful human being and head straight to the couch with a packet of chips.
You have to feel the feeling first and name it, feel the annoyance, the stomach drop, whatever it is for you, because avoiding the feeling doesn’t move it.
It’s time to reset your state, and this is an important step but can feel a little cringy. You can’t just push through, get up and dance it out, write it out or go and hug a dog if you've got one handy.
Gamify time– by bringing fun and challenge into the actual task, this clicks the dopamine filter on in your brain – think coloured timers, a reward waiting at the other end of the task or get some music going.
And when it's done, celebrate it properly, don't move straight onto the next thing. We are great at criticising ourselves when we don’t do something but shocking at celebrating. How else can your brain get positive memories and dopamine?
The most important thing to remember is that you WILL do the avoidance, the missed deadline, the annoying ADHD tax for a late bill again. It’s how you manage your own thoughts and behaviours when it happens that is the important thing.
This is exactly why I am in a room this week learning Claude Code and how toautomate as much as I can in my business that doesn’t bring me joy to do, so I can chase dopamine doing the parts of my business I love.
If you would like to know more about being able to do exactly the same, I would love to have a chat about what your business currently looks like for you and what you would change if you could (and you can x)
Mel x
P.S. By the time you're reading this on Wednesday morning, Tuesday's and Coding camp is already behind me. Next week I'll tell you honestly which version of me showed up, the one who used the timer trick, or the one still prepping at midnight the night before, again.
ADHD Village- PO Box 475, Clifton Hill, 3068, Australia
