Why the world feels like too much right now

Hiya,

Right now, for a lot of us, the world feels like too much before the workday has even properly started. You wake up and before your feet have even hit the floor, you already feel wired.

Even if you were lucky enough to get a full night’s sleep, you still do not feel properly rested and your emotions are nowhere near neutral. So much for easing gently into the day.

For a lot of neurodivergent women, this is part of emotional dysregulation. It is not just overthinking. It is your nervous system and emotions arriving at the day already activated.

By the time you are properly awake, your brain has already started running a massive list of everything that needs to be done.

Not just today’s jobs either, but all of it. The loose ends, the things that are not working, the things you have not finished, and the things you think you should have sorted already.

It does not wake up and ease into the day. It wakes up scanning for what feels unfinished, unsafe, or urgent.

So before the day has even really begun, some of your bandwidth and spoons are already gone. Not on the work itself, but on trying to get yourself into a state where the work feels possible.

For me, that usually means the first part of the morning becomes about trying to get ahead of it. Coffee. Dog. Shower. Tight jaw. That feeling in the chest. Brain going full speed before I have even sat at my desk.

Then I do the things that help me get a little more anchored.

Music. Coloured pens. A cute list.

Not because I think that magically solves life, but because craft has always been one of the ways I soothe my soul, and I bring as much of that into business as I can.

It helps settle my feelings, gives the noise somewhere to go, and quietens my brain enough for me to begin.

What is easy to miss in all of this is how much work has already happened before your workday has even properly begun.

Before you decide you are behind, unfocused, or somehow not trying hard enough, ask yourself how much of your bandwidth has already been used just trying to get your brain into a state where the day feels possible.

Managing the running list in your head, pushing back on the self-critical thoughts, calming the tightness in your chest, and doing all the little things that help you feel more anchored is not wasted time.

It is the process of getting your brain from overloaded to something a bit more usable.

From the outside, that can look like a slow start. A bit of faffing. A little procrastination before work.

From the inside, it feels completely different.

It feels like your brain has already done a few hours work before 9am.

Sometimes the things that drain us are not even the tasks themselves. It is the thinking about the tasks, themental load of the unfinished or the pressure to somehow hold all of it at once.

The self-critical voice that kicks in before the day has even had a chance to begin properly.

When that happens, you can burn through your best bandwidth far too quickly. You start the morning wanting a full day and by one or two in the afternoon, there is nothing much left in the tank.

That is not because you have done nothing, it is because your system has been working hard for hours.

These days, when I hit that point, I do not keep pushing the same way. I rest and I recalibrate.

Sometimes that looks like gardening, reading, or doing something quieter that helps my nervous system come back to itself.

Because some days are not about squeezing out more productivity, they are about not making things worse by pretending you are a machine and can get it all done.

Sometimes the most helpful question is not “how do I get through more work?” but “what do I need to feel grounded enough to do what needs to be done, and clear enough to know what can realistically be left?”

There is a lot happening in the world, and I do not think this is a time when many of us are meant to just carry on as normal. So if your bandwidth is disappearing earlier than you want it to, if your brain is loud before breakfast, and if you are using up spoons simply trying to get steady enough to begin, I see you.

And if you need someone to talk it through with, I’m here.

Mel x

This week’s fun reading if you want to geek out on the science behind this.

• Evidence of emotion dysregulation as a core symptom of adult ADHD: A systematic review
Helpful for understanding why some brains wake up already activated.

• Miss. Diagnosis: A systematic review of ADHD in adult women
Useful on delayed diagnosis, self-criticism, and the emotional cost of carrying ADHD without the right context.

• Alex Partridge’s Now It All Makes Sense
Not peer-reviewed, but a very readable lived-experience book on overwhelm, shame, and late diagnosis. I enjoy his work

• Excerpt from Now It All Makes Sense
A good short read if someone wants a quick feel for Alex Partridge’s writing

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